I'll have to give this post to some personal reflection. Today I'm skipping the beanie talk, and I'm not jotting down a quick note about my day. Today, it's a quick complaint about my "love life".
If my boyfriend and I were still together, we would have celebrated 2 years today. I ended things 2 months ago, but I still feel a pang every now and then about what we had. For the final three months of our relationship, he didn't spend a single day with me - in fact he claimed not to take any days off except for the three he spent in Boston with his best friend. Plus he forgot my birthday...and then became upset when I pointed that out to him, claiming that he didn't forget and couldn't believe I'd think that about him.
On one hand, I feel relieved because for most of our relationship I felt like I treated him more as a son than as a boyfriend. I tried not to, but it became increasingly difficult when he couldn't find a job and always complained about his landlord. I'll admit, she was a psycho - but that didn't excuse him for being so passive about his unemployment.
On the other hand, I miss what we had. When our relationship began we could talk for hours, whether we were on the phone or not. After about 6 months, we couldn't hold a conversation to save our lives. I pointed this out to him multiple times and repeatedly ask that he at least try (I always felt like I was trying to carry on one with myself). Aside from the conversation, we used to see each other nearly every day. I realize now that wasn't smart, especially once I got sick and had to live 40 minutes away without being allowed to drive. He always took the trip, and always complained. Well, enough complaining. I just needed to get this burden off my chest...